At the Monterey Fish House

There I was sitting in the bar of the Monterey Fish House having a piece of sole before my concert. The place was crowded with the usual Friday night crowd and some people in for the Pebble Beach golf tournament. I sat at the bar. Somehow, for some reason, there was the Incredibly Reverend One. He was wearing his usual fantastically tailored pinstripe blue suit with expensive looking shoes. As always he was neat as a pin. But something was wrong.

(I have to interject here, damn, writing a gospel I know I should put everything in but there are some things that just don’t seem right.)

“Where’s Freud?” he asked me.

“No idea. I didn’t even know you were here.” His eyes were red like he’d been crying. “Are you ok?”

“Sure.” He was slammed. Drunk, Starting to lean.

Are tuna genitals kosher if they smell like humans?

I glanced behind me and saw Bob Freud, drunk and slightly teetering, leaning over to smell the hair of a young lady. She hadn’t noticed yet. Bob sniffed her hair and his eyes rolled back like he was trying to remember it forever. He teetered too far and hit his chin on her shoulder.

The lady shrieked a pretty good shriek - A Bride of Frankenstein shriek. I can’t blame her. Freud’s eyes were rolling.

“I musk have had too much to drink” he told her loud enough to call the orcas in from the bay. “I am really sorry I leaned into you. I am just not all right and I kind of leaned. Like the time I was at the Polytechnic University of Mexico attending a lecture about fish. Tunas are amazing.”

He was still being loud and some people were trying to ignore him. “I found out a lot about them. I saw one lecture where the guy explained the the genitals of certain female South Atlantic tunas smell like human beings.”

Bob walked back to his seat next to The Incredibly Reverend One. He turned to me and said, “even if there is no god life is not worth living if you are not thankful. I am thankful. I am thankful I am not Bob Human Being Freud.”